Thursday, February 9, 2012

Don't Let Kink Distract From Sex

There is a continuum of sexual behavior. At one end are people who are purely vanilla: nothing exceptional, same position every time. At the other end are people who are so kinky that traditional sex is almost a distraction from their sexual activities. In the middle, of course, are those who engage in sex and have a fair amount of creativity to keep it interesting and engaging.

This article is intended for people for whom kinky play is more than just something they do once in a while to spice things up, especially for those for whom kink is more of a hobby, not that there is anything wrong with that.

Kink is a wonderful way to have a more exciting and fulfilling sex life. It can increase intimacy between partners and increase the intensity of an experience. It can even be helpful for working through certain issues in ones past.

Like everything else in life, the key is moderation. When some people first get into kink they find that it is the coolest thing ever!!! Not only will they enjoy it in the bedroom, but they will turn it into a hobby. Studying knots and ties. Finding teachers from whom to learn the secrets of flogging and whipping and anything else that suits their fancy. There is nothing wrong with any of this.

The pitfall to watch out for is when kink becomes so consuming that sex becomes an afterthought. Vanilla sex can actually become boring. The danger in this is that the partner can also become an afterthought, simply the vehicle by which kink can be exercised. By becoming overly immersed in kink, what should be a sacred and intimate act can become reduced to nothing more than an exhibition of skill. The intimacy that sex should create in a relationship is lost and replaced with a weaker, intellectual connection.

This is not to say that one should limit how kinky one is or what one does in the bedroom. Whatever you are into is just fine. There is nothing wrong with any kink, no matter how extreme, as long as it is safe, sane, risk-aware, etc. Just make sure that, every once in a while, you take a little time to connect to your partner as a person, not just as an activity partner.

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