Sunday, August 22, 2010

The Grass is Just As Green

You've probably heard the expression "the grass is always greener on the other side." Nowhere is that more true than in the world of relationships. People often look around and think that what they see is better than what they have. The fact of the matter is that everything that we encounter in every aspect of our lives has its pros and cons.

Dan says: I was dating this girl exclusively, and she was pretty cool, but I kept wondering what I was missing out on by not seeing other girls. Then I met this other girl. She was wicked hot, and I ended up leaving my old girlfriend for her. Turns out that she was just another girl, and I threw a great relationship away.

It is common for someone in an exclusive relationship to wonder what you might be missing out on, but the fact of the matter is that the value of a relationship is in the connection that builds over time, and one should think long and hard before throwing that away to try something new.

This is also true of various relationship styles. It is a common belief among many people that everyone else is having more and better sex than they are. This is even more the case when monogamous, vanilla people first learn of polyamory or kink. They learn about polyamory and get the idea that that polyamorous people get all the benefits of a relationship without having to limit themselves. What they don't understand is that, while polyamory does allow the options, there is a great deal of work that has to go into those relationships. Work on trying to compromise among the needs of not just two people, but multiple people; work on dealing with jealousy; even work on arranging schedules.

This principle applies to everything in life. Before looking on the other side to find what you are looking for, perhaps you will find that what you seek is actually right there beside you.

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